I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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