Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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