Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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