so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
