There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
