Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
it's great music for shaving your balls
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
