Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
