Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
