And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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