Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
