I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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