Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
