I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
