I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
