Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Found your dick twin last night
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
