And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
