Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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