did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize