If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
