So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
