dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
