he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
