id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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