walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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