he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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