that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
