I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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