I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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