Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
