You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
