I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
