So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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