she peed on how many people?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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