addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Randomize
