we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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