Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
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