She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
