Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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