i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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