I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize