false alarm. still invincible.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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