I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize