Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
