I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
