I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
