Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
