i think my tv is drunk
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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