There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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