my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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