DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
