He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
