absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
im having a threesome with these popsicles
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
