She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
