I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
