im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
should my penis look like a turkey
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
