real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I just blew my weed a kiss
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
