K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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