I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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