I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Farmville is her only friend.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
