I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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