Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
