just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
