theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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