This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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