Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
