Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
