I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
She's better-looking with the mask on.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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