bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
