hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
