Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
