I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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