Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
